How to Not Be A Tone Deaf Person: A Guide for Nepo Babies
Source: LPM Campus
Being born into a wealthy family, having a famous name, or having parents in positions of power is like winning life’s lottery. You don’t have to worry about money, you don’t have to stress over sending out hundreds of job applications, and doors of opportunity seem to swing wide open the moment your name is mentioned.
Being a “nepo baby” isn’t actually a crime. After all, you can’t choose whose womb you’re born from. However, the real problem arises when you’re tone-deaf, that is, lacking empathy and socially insensitive. We’re seeing this phenomenon more and more in our daily lives; the children of officials flaunting their trips abroad while the people are in crisis, bragging about how easily they secured positions, claiming that “just 16 million rupiah” is no big deal as if minimum wage weren’t a national issue affecting everyone.
To ensure you don’t end up as a “nepo baby” vilified by the entire nation because of your social insensitivity, here’s a basic guide you must understand:
1. Understand the Concept of Privilege: You’re Lucky, Not A Genius
- The most crucial thing a “nepo baby” must realize is that your starting point is different from others’. If you can study abroad, shop without looking at price tags, or hold a strategic position at a young age, that’s 90% due to your parents’ luck, not solely because you’re a genius. So if you’ve been blessed with good fortune, work hard and don’t take for granted a position that so many others can only dream of reaching. People who are tone-deaf usually fail to understand this. They think everyone has the same opportunities. Some even assume that luck is something they’ll always have.
2. Develop Your “Read the Room” Instinct
- Being able to distinguish between what’s appropriate to show off and what should be kept to yourself is a sign that you have both intelligence and empathy. When society is facing economic hardship, it’s not the time to post photos of your luxury car collection or designer goods. When people are struggling to find work, it’s not the time to brag about landing a cushy position thanks to an “insider” recommendation. Before hitting the “post” button on social media or speaking on camera, take a second to think: “Is this content just a way to show off my ego, and will it hurt the feelings of the public who are currently struggling?”
3. Drop the Victim Mentality When Criticized
- A hallmark of a tone-deaf “nepo baby” is immediately feeling like a “victim” when their behavior is called out by the public. They usually defend themselves with shallow remarks like, “You’re just jealous” or “Don’t ruin other people’s happiness.”
- Understand this clearly, the public isn’t jealous of your wealth, they’re angry at your injustice and insensitivity. If you’re criticized for flaunting unethical privileges, the best approach is to remain silent, reflect on your actions, and apologize to the public not to defiantly challenge netizens with even more arrogance.
4. Acknowledge Your Privileges, Then Make a Real Impact
- The best way to earn respect as the child of an influential person is to be honest. There’s no need to pretend you’re self-made when, in reality, you’ve been helped by your family’s connections. Acknowledging that you have greater access actually makes you appear far more mature and respectable.
- Instead, use the access, wealth, and connections you have for something meaningful. Create fair job opportunities, fund social movements, or help those who lack a voice. Public respect can’t be bought with your clothing brand, it’s earned by the extent to which you benefit the greater good.
Becoming rich and powerful because of your parents is easy. However, being a wise, self-aware, and highly empathetic person is a rare quality that not all “nepo babies” possess. The world doesn’t revolve around your ego. Having all the advantages in the world but lacking empathy will only make you a subject of public ridicule and pity, someone who has everything except maturity of character.
The public isn’t just a spectator; they may very well be the people who fund the privileges your family enjoys through their taxes. Therefore, you have a moral responsibility to act as wisely as possible in the public sphere. If acting wisely and with self-awareness feels too difficult for you, at the very least, show humanity toward others by not flaunting your luxury at the expense of those whose taxes have funded your lifestyle.
Writer: Nurhabibah Khoirotunnisa/Medicine’24
Editor: Sapna Fullaili/Architecture’25
